January 4, 2011

These Boots Were Made For? {Shoe & Tell}

I have a lot of boots...
"a lot" might not be the right word...
Too many?
But is that overstating it?
Let's not be rash now...
How many is too many?
A closet full?
Geez! Now I sound like Imelda Marcos!

So, anyway...what does this have to do with the price of tea in China?
Well, actually, not a thing! ;}

{semi}Seriously though, the fabulous Donna of Funky Junk fame is
trying to make us all clean and arrange and unclutter
and "Gitter Done!"....ewwwwwww!

But who am I to argue? She's packing a Sawzall! So, I thought I might
consider weeding out some excess cobblery...but I couldn't let some of
them go without a last hurrah...

How many is too many?

Were archaeologists or say, maybe, the fireman trying to find my charred
body underneath the molten mounds of leather, plastic, heels & zippers,
asked that question, I fear that the honest reply would be..."Uh, for someone
who lives in what is basically the dessert and has to use her windshield wipers
maybe 5 times a year...50 pairs of boots could be considered...too many."
**GASP**Blasphemy! {I am covering my ears and humming...loudly!}
Who knew firemen and archaeologists were so RUDE??!! Even my
charred remains are insulted!

On on those rare occasions when I am given over to introspection {this may
or may not involve wine} I have asked myself, "what is up with all the boots
...freak?!" {I usually just ignore me and have another swig}

I digress...
These patchwork numbers above...why? Patchwork? Hello 1975!
As I recall, the story on these was, my sister Bee seeing them on
clearance at Payless and saying, "they were on clearance...I had to
buy them...and I knew you'd wear them!" $9 if I remember correctly.
And as "patchwork" as they are...I always get compliments...scary, huh?
But remember, people in Cali have experimented with a lot of drugs...
{if they were different colors wouldn't they look just like the Partridge
Family's bus??? ;}

Clearance too...{are you uncovering the theme yet? ;} I must have been
channeling Emma Peel that year!

Over the knee or cuffed like a pirate {Adam Ant, not Johnny Depp ;}
I can't think of one single reason why I needed these...mate-y!
{clearance: Marshall's}

Do I so lack that urban cowgirl je ne sais quoi ?
Like any self-respecting cowperson would be seen in these!
Even cows would laugh!

{Isn't my picture frame and matelasse background so very Anthropologie!
You thought you were looking a the Anthro website, didn't you?? Minus the
cat hair!}

Clearance again...I think Payless...I must always have a pair of lace-up
Victorian/Mary Poppins boots...whether they are "technically" in-style
or out, I couldn't care a whit!

These just say, "TROUBLE" don't they? Well, trouble and "pain"...they zip up
the back and boy does that zipper dig! I wonder what Sister Nivette would
say about these? ;} She's probably smack me on the back again...she was a tad
bitter...if she had only had some boots like these...no one would have even
noticed the mole on her chin... ;}

High-button boots? Yep! It's the Victorian thing...I can't shake it!
{but I never wear these and the snakeskin boots during the same week
as it could give rise to unnecessary conversation regarding number of
personalities that currently reside in my person!}

I love the smell of camo on clearance.
There is no reason to own these boots...it's just that they are camo.
They make me feel all Desert Stormy!

And who could be caught dead without 2 pockets on their calf?
Ok, me...it's not like I need any additional calf girth! Really!
But did I mention they are camo? {Hello!Cybill?}

Sassy biker?
Can you be a sassy biker?
Ok, I might have meant sissy biker because I am way too
chicken to ever get on a motorcycle! Bugs in the teeth...
rats in the hair...I can get all that at home without fear
of peeling the flesh from my bones!

I'm sure this little heart on the side was the deciding factor in this
purchase...not my "need for speed"! ;}

Now you must think I'm all OC Housewife shallow, don't you?
But truly, my siren's song is not Botox and silicone...
it's the bright red tag screaming, "You don't need me...
Where in the world will you wear me...but I'm only $9!!!"
I cannot resist the lure!
Ok, and I'm sorta shallow! HA!

Be sure to Jon Cindy for more SHOE AND TELL FRIDAY !

{This is what was really going on when I was taking all these
glamorous shots!} "Uh, mom...why are you on laying on the floor
taking pictures of your feet on the chair?"
My cats even think/know I'm weird!
Newsflash! ;}

Look how I rock 2 different knee-highs! Dead sexy!
Don't be intimidated by my fashion {non}sense!
You, too, can achieve this haute-hobo look! ;}
ACK! Love this angle...it looks like you could easily
land a fleet of something on my calf!

My idea of seafaring prairie! ;}
Now these boots I have worn to shreds!
Like, Yipee kai yay...totally!


  1. TOO funny !
    And so unexpected,
    LoVed the post,
    it almost motivated me to begin cleaning my closet !
    Maybe I'll reread it and chuckle on Saturday morning and see if that helps...

  2. LOL! Wow you do have alot of boots!;) Happy New Year!!Hugs,Rachel

    French Farmhouse 425

  3. Dearest 'M',

    Yeah, you can sing with Nancy Sinatra: These boots are made for walking...! Even though you like to present them in an 'arial' view with uplifted legs. Your feline must have been shaking her had!
    What a post!
    But it is completely up to you, uh, Imelda...

    Enjoy them and see, if you wear two different knee highs at the same time you might as well go for two different boots! That way you take faster turns for wearing them (well, one round you wear the right one and the next round you wear the left one...).
    Snatch up a nice 925/000 silver alphabet angel for putting on your zipper pull! That's my International Giveaway from January 3rd. Click on the button to the left on my block and it will get you there... Ends January 25th!

    Lots of love,

    Mariette's Back to Basics

  4. You are sooooo funny, your my early moring wake up smile ;-)) And when i saw all those boots i was thiking the same "These boots are made for walking and thats just what there do one of these days those boots are gona walk all over you" And in a funny way they do they come home with you ;-)) Hell a girl can never have to many boots, shoes or handbags its our right ;-)) Wear them and be proud ;-)) Dee x

  5. Girl! You have got me laughing so hard, you are soooooo funny! And I thought that my sister had more booths than anyone else but you've got her beat.


  6. I have that same problem of buying something because its on sale not because I need it. I do have to admit I haven't ventured into an excessive boot issue though. Thanks so much for the morning laugh.

  7. All I could think of was a "Funniest Home Video" with you trying to get pictures of them. You sure no one was in the closet taking photos of you taking photos of your boots....lol...too funny.

  8. LoL! Loved this post. Too funny and the expression on the cat's face! Ha!

  9. Ok. I kind of really like those lace-up ones. What size are you and where do you keep your trashcan? Pay no attention to noises you may hear late in the night....Just saying...


  10. This was hysterical! From beginning to end. And yes, you have a lot of boots!


  11. Hysterical. I love it. Funniest post I've seen in weeks. Thanks for taking the time to photograph all those boots (and the ceiling). Great back drop. Kitty must have had fun too.

  12. oh you're hysterical! truly...you never disappoint! Your boot fetish is enviable..really...NO GUILT! There are worse addictions to have!

  13. Here I've been looking for a pair of boots and you have them ALL!!!
    Cute post! Funny and nice cat! Vicki

  14. Cute post!!

    You can never have too many shoes/boots!!! especially when you can pick them up on clearance!!

  15. Love a girl that can admit her obsession lol. If my cats could talk they would say I was crazy too.


  16. Carole sent me over. As a girl who just visited her very first Boot Barn on Friday I am impressed with your collection lol!

    You gals are trying to lure me over to the dark side aren't you?


  17. OK, I just have to say (because I will have to say this EVERY SINGLE TIME I visit here, from now until the end of time)...


    I bust up every single post.

    Loved this. And, bonus, now I know the secret crafty trick for taking shoe shots! Ha!


    P.S. I especially love the patchwork pair. Groovy!

  18. good grief, I haven't laughed this much in a long time. Love the last picture of your putty tat!

  19. Hilarious! I love the first pair. I also love the victorian pair. You're not, like, doing a giveaway à la The Pioneer Woman, are you? Shipping to France?

  20. Girl, you don't have too many boots. You have just the right amount. I wish I could wear boots like yours. My calves are a bit big for them.

  21. I was looking through the Google Image results for 'button up pioneer boots' and stumbled upon your blog. This post is hilarious! I have to ask, where did you get those button up boots?

  22. I was scrolling through the Google Image results for 'button up pioneer boots' and stumbled upon your blog. Hilarious! I have to ask, where did you get those button up boots?


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